c'est la vie, je suis pathetique aussi. c'est pas mal.. je t'aime ma vie.

here is a blog about random stuff, rather than poetry, photos or music.

I'm annoyed at myself, good thing Brody is my only company right now and he doesn't mind me ranting to him.... I think I shall watch Avatar (The Last Airbender) episodes for a few hours... stay up sort of late, and wake up too early.

Although this blog will seem down..cast... I actually had a quite wonderful night, and felt sort of.. privileged somehow. I love being a friend who shows up, I am figuring out that I have like.. this weird pocket of love that just wants to spill itself out.... I'm pretty sure it's God. Onto the downcast stuff.

The tiresome thing about seeing people you have not seen in quite a while is the same introduction everyyyy freaking time. "How are you, How are your parents doing? What is your sister doing? How is your brother? What are you doing?" I swear I answered those questions a million times and it made me want to SCREAM. I just smile a lot and end up being super fakey.
I h. a. t. e fake.

I wish I had better things to write about, and I shall, soon. Thank God life goes in cycles, like the tide. This too shall pass.

however, when it passes, will I lose what I love?

I am downright pathetic right now. Sometimes I just sit at home and cry my little eyes out, because I can't have what I want and I am a selfish being. I cry because I don't trust God and I cry because sometimes I am wounded.
Anyway.

Cover-- Euphoria by Motopony

crowned

don't let anyone else live your life for you;

the sky is your limit, and it is nearly endless
you have nothing to fear-- except falling,
which i have heard is rather kind.

εὐφορία

enduring easily,
strapped onto the back of a flying whale,
spouting sprinkles and koolaid from its head,
purple stripes run down its back,
its fins are kites instead.

relax in these folds of sky,
tie-dyed and shimmering like dew.
laughing rays that stab at your skin,
it's wonderful to let love in.

grab a glowstick and run
to the technicolor horizon,
there we can rave with Jesus,
he'll pick up his robe,
and shine like the sun,
we'll dance forever,
eternity has begun.

i just laughed out loud


My apologies for this scattered poem, it's a fail, but that's alright, the point is that I wrote something.
shout outs to Gabby Sanders and Emily Caroline Anderson (for posting the ideas 'tie-dye sky' and 'technicolor rave Jesus' on facebook-- which inspired this strange poem)

merely a stuffed animal

Cotton fills the air
fills my soul
it's useless garb,
it's garbage.

dress myself in cotton
and stuff it down my throat,
we shall become lifeless
if that is what we want
if that is all we see,
if we don't shut our mouths
and throw up violently;
the poison-cotton inside our skin.

this is where new life begins.

Cotton fills the air
fills my lungs,
shall I stop breathing?
or shall I seek oxygen?

The answer seems simple,
but in all truth,

this cotton tastes like candy,
and my soothsayer soul
tells me I'll be better off
without veins; heart; mind;

but hold me now--
speak to me
so I can remember
that I have been
breathed
into;

Help me see what you see,
oh God. help me believe.

close-up

tread lightly, do not speak loudly.
behind the closed door, murders ring out,
laughter; and the light flickers,
dances--
now quiet.

i can hear his voice through the phone
held to your face,
the same things he tells to me,
he doesn't want to lose control.

I understand.

we are secluded and
recluse, hidden in the shadows of a building so weak.
we are broken and
burning, hidden in the refuge of wings, so strong.

home is where the heart is;
lie awake in the deep of night and
hear it pump--

strange, how loud blood becomes.

love will fill the air thick-- like peanut butter.

wisps
of hair
fly across my
face; ready to be
free.