I want to be right, sometimes.

The right brain says:

I am the present,
here for the presence,
I'll drink it in without a mouth,
see the world through eyes like crescents.

The left brain says:

I am your past,
I am the future and this moment won't last.
This is a table, this is a chair,
you who are separate, with burdens to bear.

The right sees what is not real-- it cannot recall what is and what is not.
The left sees the social construct-- it only recalls what is real based off of majority belief.

The right believes.
The left knows.

But secretly the left feels that it may not know anything at all.

stall

I stalled in the kitchen. Arm propped against the chair, other arm loose against my side.

Am I breathing?
I don't remember what I was listening to, I don't remember what I was doing, where I was going.

turn, slowly, staring at the ground. Place my hand on the fridge, hand drops like a weight back to my side.

Sit by the fireplace, feel warm.
Go back to where I was.

Is it possible that I don't need medicine? just a new mindset?

humans are polymers.

we are all connected:

I'm glad I have you.

thank you for reminding me that
I don't need to be afraid.

fetching it to me with full hands

Martin Valigursky

Lately I've been feeling rather inadequate.
No castle-building,
No words of wisdom...

just small and helpless.

The New Year

I never noticed the snow glittering on the ground,
as headlights rush over and set it ablaze with TWINKLES!

Looked like a million diamonds, the most vast and beautiful treasure I had ever seen.

I am so excited about 2011. My life looks bright and beautiful like that diamond-snow. <3

petition answered:

[source unknown]

"We’re in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it’s all gone. " -Robert M. Pirsig
(Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values)

 
To whomever it may concern:

I have decided that I will savor every bit of life. I will suck the marrow from the broken bones of life-- I will drink relish in every second, and take time to go beneath a surface which has become as cold and stiff as ice. This surface of materialism, shallowness, the fast-paced hum of machines and google thinking for me... it's all for naught. Are you willing to cut deep into a forest? A forest thick with tiny leaves dangling by your ears, baby-berries awaiting to be munched? The smallness adds up to the sum of life. If we mindlessly accomplish, we will look back with regret. If we put our hearts into anything, we will once again be alive. Wake up, machines!

It. Is. Time.

It is time to answer a question which could change lives.

What steps are you taking toward your dreams?

Wow. Pretty intense question to ponder. It kind of makes my insides quiver, because there is so much to be done, and I'm unsure of where to start.
Confronted by this monster, the past five minutes have been spent busily, and in utter disarray. However, of one thing I am certain, these next years are going to be AMAZING. There is beauty everywhere I go, music singing toward me from mountaintops and alley-ways-- there is love seeping into my heart, and growing vines in my lungs. Someday, I want to be the type of person who does everything because of love.

To even begin to answer that impending question, one must first decide what their dreams are made of. Mine must be made of love, I believe. (Technically I only sort of decided to accept this crazy and splendid dream God put in my heart). All I know now is that I want to create, organize, and reach out to people more than I have before. Build things. I want to build things that will not decay. Relationships; these are what I want to build. Perhaps, as someone once told me, we are... only because we live in relation to others, and God.

In essence, I want to move toward my dreams... Still working on how, exactly.

I think it begins with cleaning up my room, using my beckoning canvases, drawing sound from the cello and of course, giving my boy another hug :)